One month today

...or thereabouts by the time I actually posted this...I'll be home.

Well, one month yesterday. I'm writing this for tomorrow. Now. Anyway...

I figured it'd been a while since the last post and so I'd better get on with one. Normally though, I can't force myself to write one. They just kinda happen and I break off whatever I was going to do in order to do so. Which, tonight, was watching S4 of Breaking Bad and Braveheart (That film is 13 years old you know! What the fuck happened there?!) So nothing pressing. 

Mostly, it's going well. Shows are getting better all the time and I'm getting some much-needed stage time just doing the same thing over and over every day, so I don't forget everything by taking 2 week breaks to do other stuff. I'll be interested to see what happens when I try to do my Ferrari-refined (sounds much more impressive than it is) show elsewhere but that's to think about later. Elsewhere. I'm learning a lot about how to communicate with non English-speaking audiences too. Paid. In the warm. In case you'd missed that bit ;) Actually, the evenings are pretty chilly but nothing like the UK as far as I can tell from the amount of #snow #snow #snow posts all over the internet. Incidentally, on the above subject, please read this and follow them. They're hilarious.

I say 'mostly' it's been going well. And it has. But it's a mixed bag really. Ive realised tonight (and hence the blog post) that it's just the monotony that I don't like. I've never had a full-time job. In fact, I've spent my adult life up until this point studiously avoiding one and this bout of employment is easily my longest ever. I did music, I plumbed, I did streetshows, I even delivered pizzas and had fuck-knows-how-many crappy jobs as a teenager (even sorting potatoes at uni) but I never "got on that train" as a wise and fellow lifelong self-employed friend once put it.

Every day is the same. I value what it's given me and I'm far from against coming back at some point. I've given it my best, delivered a good product (I think) and helped them figure out a bit more about what they want in the future. And it's not bad here, but it's not hugely inspiring. Useful, but not enveloping. Motivating, but not intense. I like intense and I like change, it would seem. Life in the UK moves at a million miles an hour whilst changing all the time and although I value my time off hugely, it's new things that really make me tick, I think. I've missed them, lots. 

This week has been broken up by a visit to some friends of my Parents for dinner, aforementioned friends visiting the park today and tonight, wait for it....learning about the local buses and using them to go to the shop and back. Sounds simple, right? I feel amazing. And all I did was one little thing different. That little break from the daily routine will last me a week.

On my one day off a week I've been hanging out with the cast of the other show mostly. They're all lovely. Fortunately, also, there are some people out here that I know from elsewhere. Some absolutely lovely, generous, hospitable and fun (albeit until now fairly peripheral) London friends recently relocated to Dubai so I've been out with them a couple of times and another friend from the Edinburgh Fringe has been out here working so I went on a Desert Safari with him and went to see the theatre shows he was working on (also in Dubai) which was all awesome. Dubai is brilliant by the way. Crazy buildings, which I love, and a general Disneyland feel about the place. A lot more relaxed that Abu Dhabi overall too. 

Ethically, the whole thing is about a million miles off - they have loads of cheap imported labour, don't recycle and drive huge, unnecessary cars. As a sociological chinstroke the whole country could fill countless notebooks. It's a very 2-tiered society which, as a white male, makes it difficult at times to communicate. Once I got round it though, I found that there are now about 5 more countries in the world that I wouldn't even have thought to visit that I now MUST go to having met some of their people. So thats a bonus. 

Overall though, considering the times we live in as a planet, it kinda feels like they had the resource and opportunity to make a whole new and advanced country and just decided to make exactly the same mistakes as the rest of the world, preferring to make looking good a priority instead. Shame. Of course, I'm far from against record-breaking skyscrapers and fast rollercoasters - I would just like the investment to build to to be from a co-operative, the food there to be vaguely local, be supplied to me by a working national and the packaging to be recyclable. Not that we get that in the UK, but you get what I mean. I'm an idealist, what can I say?

My acommodation is pretty good really, looks like a portacabin from the outside but I got a large one to myself and it's the size of a studio flat I guess. The idea of this isolated, tucked-away compartmentalised and very regimented housing for all the workers is less paletable of course, but that's pretty standard. Again, its a constant eyebrow-raiser telling people that I'm living in the makeshift village that is almost completely populated by Bangladeshis, Poles, Egyptians, Fillipinos and Pakistanis who work in the nearby Aluminum Mine or at the various attractions on Yas Island (the bit where Ferrari World is and which, incidentally, is located half an hour or so away from Abu Dhabi itself.) 

There's a certain look that I'm getting used to which means something along the lines of; "But...you're white and you MUST be rich. Why on EARTH are you working here and living there?!" Goes to solidify my point about how two tiered the society is but, I guess, throws a third, tourist tier into the mix. You get the idea. I have the choice to be irritated/saddened by it and see it as a barrier, or work round it and use it as a learning experience. Mostly I'm managing the latter but I don't think I could do that for very long - stuff like that really gets to me. 

Anyhoo, nearly there. Then it's back to blighty for the crazy summer and whatever it may bring. Here are some photos of the things I have been doing:

A Pakistani Cab Driver on The War

Slightly different entry (hurr hurr) from me (sorry ;)) this time. Followers of this blog will know that mostly, I just prattle on about whatever I've been up to in the thinly-veiled hope that someone somewhere finds it interesting. I'm back in Abu Dhabi now and things are moving along nicely, I'll post an update soon I'm sure. This post isn't really about me though, it's about someone I met. It's vaguely relevant as it was a meeting that happened while I was out here (before Xmas actually) but mostly, it's going in because I just couldn't not. I heard two things  yesterday that prompted it. 

One was a good friend posting an article on Facebook that the protest against the Afghanistan War had been moved on from Parliament Square after over a decade. Read the link, Westminster Tory Colin Barrow (whose website I can't actually get to from here in UAE - sigh) actually tried to spin it as a relief. As if people got to use it as a public space anyway. It was quite recent that they were forced onto the pavement but it would seem  they are now to be completely evicted. Other news today suggests that they might actually hold on until a court case in March. Who knows.

The second piece of news I heard yesterday on Twitter was of a petition to stop US drone attacks in Pakistan under the umbrella of the current war. This was the news that really resonated with me and prompted me to get the writing of this blog into the "today" section of my to-do list. Yes, it has sections. So there.

My blog isn't a political forum and I don't profess to being the best researched person in the world. Especially when, in a shock event of poor/good timing Wikipedia is down as a protest against new censorship legislation in the US. I tried. The facts are, in this situation, their own rhetoric and we all also, I'm sure, have our own opinions on our right to protest so I won't bother with that either. I will simply tell you what happened, who I met and what they said.

I was in a cab back from Dubai, a long journey and the cabbie was Pakistani. We got talking about our lives and I asked him about his home Country. He is from the mountainous part of Pakistan that borders onto Afghanistan. To all relevant intents and purposes economically and in many other ways, the same place. Or it was. 

My ears first began to prick up beyond the small-talk niceties at the point in the conversation when he told me about his 6 -month-old daughter whom he had never seen. He spends about 13-15 months working here in the UAE and about 4 months at home. The reason for this is very simple - his country's economy has been completely fucked by the War. UAE Dirhams can get him a lot of money back home due to the weakness of Rupees plus, produce cannot get in or out and there is no money to be made in farming villages in those areas until the sanctions are lifted and people start buying things again. 

His country is not at War but they are basically screwed until it ends. The impression I got is that all of his village have accepted that basically their lives are on hold until the US decide to get out. Nothing's being built, no-one's planning a new business, nothing. Imagine just being in a country that's in stalemate like that. Remember - they've been there a decade. 10 years of just waiting to be allowed to get their country back on its feet. Mental.

Not only this, but the cabbie told me there is no chance of America actually *winning* the War when alls said and done. 80% of the country are loyal to the Taliban. 80%. And being "Loyal to the Taliban" isn't like screaming nonsensically for some overpaid bunch of wankers on a football pitch because they happen to be winning the soap opera that is the game that week only to defect the next day because your mate Darren likes the other lot (OK...I'm allowed *some* kind of dig - right? At least I stayed away from the politics) These are proud people who are every bit prepared to die for their Country or Religion. 

Right or wrong. In order to win this War, in the opinion of the cabbie, they'd have to wipe out most of the Country. This presents a problem, obviously they can't do that. Not only that, but the other 20% is (obviously) partially composed of US sympathisers or collaborators and as soon as the US pull out, those people will be in big trouble. Pretty tough situation and hence the actual stated, albeit convenient reason for the US staying. 

It gets worse. The cabbie told me also that he has had to move his wife and daughter from the village they love to the city because of, you've guessed it, the Drone attacks. Basically, if you're a Pakistani villager and you don't like someone for whatever reason, all you have to do is go to see the US Army. They will give you a GPS chip to put into the house of anyone you "suspect" is a Taliban loyalist. That house will then be bombed. The cabbie lost 2 Uncles to this type of attack not because those Uncles had anything to do with the War, but because a local vendetta was escalated and the US Army manipulated as a tool. The Drone attacks are apparently pretty indiscriminate, powerful and are carried out on suspicion without proof. Not so great if you live next door to someone who happened to upset anyone. Like, ever. Remember, Pakistan is not even officially in the war. 

It was really interesting to hear first hand what is going on from the other side of the fence. Or, not even, on a side of the fence, someone just wanting it to be over. We in the UK are told certain things about who's right and wrong - but we aren't the ones being bombed and financially buttfucked. Those people don't really care who's in power - they just want the fighting to stop. I asked the guy if he thought things would be peaceful if the Taliban were to gain control. He was very clear that whatever you think of the Taliban, them being in charge was better than them fighting the US to decide who is in charge and they are, like it or not, a lot more in touch with the country's needs that the US Government. Crazy, I know. 

In short, in the opinion of one Pakistani national, the US cannot sustainably control the situation and every day more innocent lives are lost because it is never a politically good time to pull out and rip off the bandaid of public opinion. Or it hasn't been for the past 10 years anyway. On the subject of why they were there in the first place, he had little to say. I even asked him if he thought it was about oil, he shrugged and said that by now, no-one cares. They just want it to be over. 

So yeah, slight tangent from the norm. But I thought if you're reading this, then you deserve to know at least one man's truth.

Halfway between falling in love and just putting my foot in it

Is having one of those weeks. Halfway between falling in love and just putting my foot in it. Not love, of course. Well, actually, maybe. Which one would we prefer? Doesn't matter, it's a nonsensical wittering related only to jetlag and no sudden conflict in my lovelife.

The truth is the second sentence of that amused me enough as it fell out of my head that I thought it deserved more than a status update so I used it as the intro to a blog post so that I'd remember it as a phrase, as much as anything else. A place I've certainly been in. Somehow it now feels less ephemeral than a status update but I think I want it as an album title instead. 

I'm really only thinking about it like that as a good friend recently told me (as we were talking about our respective careers) that she thought Crossfader was really good and that it was a shame it never went any further. I agree. But fortunately a metric shit-ton of cool stuff has, and is continuing to happen since. Whew ;) 

I've been very inspired musically listening to the Eels this week actually. Fuck knows, however, when I'll next get the chance to sit down and play with music stuff. Maybe I'll take a week after I get back and see where it goes. I have a couple of songs on the go for the first time in a good few years.

Wow, that was a lot of digressive witter. Oops. Sorry.

Anyhoo, what's been happening? I'm now 3 shows into the contract here at Ferrari World Abu Dhabi and it's going pretty well. Still a bit quiet but there are ways to work on marketing the show around the park which will apparently improve that. The language barrier is taking some work too - being a low-skill-high-bullshit-type performer I'm obviously gonna struggle more with that. Nothing insurmountable though I don't think, I'm just spoilt with English-speaking audiences usually. I'm working on some more skill-based stuff to music to put in. Seems like the way to go. 

My lovely new bluetooth transmitter also refused to work as the ride that's directly behind me is apparently drenched in bluetooth signal for some kind of sensor on the seat. Learn something new every day don't ya?.

And yes, last night, my episode of Winter Wipeout was shown. Most people who read this have already found out about it and, amusingly enough, everyone in England has seen it and I currently haven't due to being in the UAE and iplayer not working. Bah. Still, it was lots of fun and I haven't had any awkward messages from people telling me how awful it was and my parents have currently not disowned me. I'm kicking myself for not writing more about the trip at the time to post up now as I really can't remember that much detail which is a shame. I reckon it'd have been much more interesting than my musings on my career, or lack thereof ;) Hey ho.

So yeah, it'll be fairly routine from now so may not be that many posts but I have my camera so I promise to be a lot better with the picture-posts this time round.

 Generally, very excited about this year. It's looking good.

Ttfn xxx